last monday in the city
a perfect day, and a perfect goodbye
Hey, stranger.
My last Monday in Seattle was a perfect day. I woke up nursing a hangover not from alcohol but the persistent anxiety that has been looming over me as I’ve begun my moving countdown. Every day I find some new thing that I’m experiencing for the last time. Last Dick’s drive-thru burger, last Greenlake run, last night dancing at Barboza, last Sunday coffee, last Mariners game, last walk to Gasworks. I’m dizzy from processing all of my last moments here. In many ways it’s unbearable to say goodbye to something you still love so dearly.
But like I said: my last Monday was perfect. It was 60° and sunny when I left the house, having gone for a run and taken a scalding shower I was as ready for the day as one can be. Sunglasses on and smelling faintly of coconut from my sunscreen, I crossed 11th and made my way to the Ave.
My plan for the day was to spend some time alone in University District, my beloved neighborhood of the last 3 years. The week before had been comprised of goodbyes and last-time’s at various Seattle institutions, but I wanted a day to myself to have a proper moment with the city.
How do you write a love letter to a city? How much does a place become a part of your soul? I don’t know the answer to either of these questions but I’ve spent a good amount of time pondering them. I knew I wanted to write something about the city that so deeply impacted me but every time I sat down to write I couldn’t fathom where I could even start. How do I capture the light on Lake Union at sunrise or the view of the mountains on a clear day or the sounds and smells of a Mariners game in July? Nothing I wrote did this city justice, so I gave up trying to fit all of my love into a few paragraphs. Instead, I’ll tell you about my last perfect Monday in the city.
I wore a white sundress with my penny loafers and a green and yellow jumper. I put on an old favorite necklace with a teardrop pearl, my aunt’s earrings, a watch that Michael gifted me, and secured my teal purse over one shoulder. My hair was down and flying into my lipgloss, courtesy of the wind, while I walked the familiar route onto University Avenue. How to describe the Ave to someone who has never walked its length or eaten at one of the many restaurants? It feels like both a tiny city and an intimate neighborhood street in one. You will find yourself pushing your way through the throngs of people at the end of the day, overwhelmed by the number, but you’re also just as likely to run into a friend and grab a spontaneous coffee. You feel like just another ant on the ant hill and, simultaneously, like the street exists solely for you. The experience is unique and not always pleasant. There have been weeks of my time here where I declared the Ave was banned— I would avoid the street and refuse to eat at the restaurants for no reason other than it exhausted me. My friends would participate in the ban until one day someone would say “you know what I kind of want right now?” and I would sigh because I knew the answer was coffee from Allegro or a chicken shawarma sandwich from Aladdin’s or Thai takeout from Thai Tom’s. Thus the ban would be lifted and our return to the street as strong as ever.
The Ave, for all my complaining, was the street I frequented most when I first moved to Seattle. Friendless and lonely, I would walk home from long days on campus when I needed to feel close to people. I let myself be carried along the current of people in the street, my traitorous eyes drifting to the cozy windows that displayed groups of friends around a table, laughing and smiling. My loneliness was both numbed and strengthened on those long walks home. The street has seen me through happy days and sad ones, break ups and first dates, hours hunched over a laptop finishing an assignment, debriefing with a friend the events of the night prior. So many memories condensed into just a few blocks.
On my last Monday, I walked along the Ave from the bottom up, stopping first at my favorite vintage store in the area. Either the universe was on my side or the Crossroads’ staff had just restocked the floor because I immediately saw a perfect white babydoll dress with a frilly collar and an oversized jean jacket— two things I love— and I knew it was going to be a good day. The afternoon was just beginning and I had all the time in the world to try on as much as I wanted in the cramped dressing room. I shimmied my way into tie-dye red and pink leopard print pants, gauzy sheer tops, sequined dresses, and on and on. When I am left to my own devices in a vintage store, I can be there for hours trying on outfits I would never actually wear. After I sufficiently satiated my hunger for playing dress up, I left with a few new items and sauntered back out onto the street. The warm weather invited out a mass of students and commuters, all tipping their faces up to the sun, drinking iced coffees, chattering excitedly about summer plans. Seattle comes alive in spring.
I practically skipped down the street, giddy with excitement and outfit ideas, and made my way to Magnus Books, an old bookstore that I’ve always thought was beautiful with its creeping ivy brick exterior. I let my fingers trail against the spines of the leather bound books, making a few laps before striding back out into the sunny air. Sometimes all I need is to be surrounded by books and their comforting presence to feel contented. In a moment I was at Bulldog News, a coffee stand with cute outdoor seating and walls full of newspapers and comics and records and ladders for the top shelves. I ordered an iced chai, which is out of character for me but I was feeling daring, and sat at a table in the sun, listening to the sounds of the street. After a few moments, I opened the book I just started (Patti Smith’s Just Kids) while drinking the chai that was, unsurprisingly, delicious. Yet another piece of evidence that the day was destined to be glorious.
As I sat there amongst the other cafe goers, sipping my drink and people watching, I thought about the dinner plans ahead of me. A few friends and I had 6pm reservations at Cafe Lago (you know how I feel about dinner plans)— my favorite restaurant in Seattle. It was 10$ pizza night and I was going to wear my new dress and order some sparkling red wine and let myself love the city one last time. I think there are some moments that are so perfect it’s almost unbearable to live inside of them. You want it to last forever and although you don’t want to think of it ending, you know it will. That perfectly sums up my time in Seattle. I knew while I was living them that these will be some of the good old days I’ll look back on. I’ll visit someday in the future and maybe Bulldog News won’t be here anymore or Magnus Books will be a Starbucks, and how will anyone know that I used to be here? I used to be one of the ants in the ant hill. I used to be one of the inhabitants of this dense neighborhood with its numerous coffee shops and thrift stores and Asian restaurants and cherry trees.
I made a quick stop back at the apartment for an outfit change and to pick up Michael and Rachel before heading out again for the bus. We chatted about my day and the best times to go shopping at Crossroads and whether or not we wanted to get pizza or pasta for dinner (we got both). Ian and Myra joined us at the restaurant and within moments we had wine and cocktails in hand. I sat at dinner with a stomach full of gnocchi and wine, and a heart full of a day well spent. Rarely do I not think of myself as a lucky person, but I feel it especially strongly in the days where I am surrounded by people I love, with good food in front of us. My last Monday in the city in some ways was a perfect goodbye to the neighborhood that cradled me and kept me safe the last few years. I was able to grasp its face in my hands and whisper my thanks for the time we’ve spent together. I shall miss it always.
xoxo,
ev
Read this in a cafe in Redondo Beach reminiscing on the two years ('21-'23) I lived in Seattle. How I miss springtime and trips to the Cap Hill Crossroads, days and nights exploring all of the different neighborhoods!! Not a goodbye, but a Sea you later <3
Goosebumps! Thank you for sharing this <3