how to survive the winter

a girl’s guide

Hey, stranger.

I was born on December 23rd in Portland, Oregon and although I came into this world during the harshest months of the year, I never was very good at handling them. Every year I turn grey and lifeless with the trees outside, like clockwork, until April stops by again. When I visited Ireland, the locals smiled when we told them we were visiting from Portland, “Ah,” they’d say, “so you grew up with the grey too.” I liked the way they said that, grew up with the grey, and have since developed a sense of pride from being somewhere that rains so intensely for so many months.

Winter has always been a double edged sword to me: dreary, sad weather on one side and romance on the other. I might turn lifeless and grey but at least I get hot apple cider. At least I get fresh snowfall and cold hands being warmed by someone else and candlelit tables.

Without further ado, here is my guide to surviving the winter months from someone who is, historically, quite bad at it. It’s for you but mostly for me to look back on in oh, two months. Once I’ve forgotten my own advice.

Nothing more romantic than chocolate cake <3

Investing in facials this winter, especially with hot stone massages!!!!

Eat lots of leeks. This is a winter root vegetable that frankly does not get enough press and should.

Wear your wool scarf like a balaclava or around the shoulders or under a jacket. Scarves are an accessory that are only wearable when it’s frigid, so enjoy it. Emulate Bridget Jones or Meryl Streep or any of the characters in Love, Actually.

Make lots of stews and soups and anything of a slop variety. Slow cook the hell out of beef. Serve with garlic grilled asparagus or mashed potatoes or crusty bread.

Listen to an album front to back if you own a record player, top to bottom if not. Lay on the floor of your room and close your eyes and stay that way until the last note of the last song finishes.

Go dancing! For the love of god, go dancing and remind yourself that there are people out there and you are not alone. I wrote a piece on wintertime last year and this is my favorite line:

“On a rare night, I’ll go dancing in wintertime. This is not the hedonistic, sweat glistening dancing of summer where the crowd writhes in life. This is a dark, sweet desperation to be near people. Coats are shed, people are stiff when they begin. Bodies that haven’t moved freely in months take a few moments to work warmth back into their bones.”

Read the rest here.

Learn a new skill that doesn’t require leaving the house. Right now I’m learning how to use my mom’s old Canon 70D that she handed down to me recently.

Your ass better be going to a Christmas tree farm or Christmas market. Get a hot chocolate while you’re there.

In November, rewatch the Twilight movies from start to finish. In December, rewatch Harry Potter. January, Fleabag. February, the Before Sunrise trilogy. Spend time with the films that brought you warmth before and will do so again.

Wake up earlier. The days are shorter but the mornings are brighter and that is a gift.

Make a big deal out of everything. Every little thing! Your friend got a new job? Party. Redecorated your living room? Party. Got new shoes? Party. Pomegranates are finally in season? Party. I recently threw a party celebrating the return of soup season where I made a few vats of soup for everyone, supplied lots of alcohol, and served pumpkin carrot cake cookies. Although pointless, it was fun and that’s the key.

Try all of the festive, seasonal flavors at your local coffee shop.

Go for a run once in awhile. There is simply no better feeling to me than coming back into my warm home after a run in the winter when I’m frigid and my cheeks are wind blown and I can barely feel my toes. There is something sweet about taking care of myself, getting warm again, and feeling gratitude for a roof over my head.

Read. This goes without saying. Brew a cup of tea, grab a blanket, and read something. My favorites in the winter are murder mysteries (British).

When you finish work and it’s already been dark for an hour, take the long way home to look at the holiday lights.

The beautiful thing about winter is that it makes people want to be close together. Go out to dinner with your closest friends at a restaurant that’s a tad too small and enjoy the feeling of being shoulder to shoulder with people you love.

Remember that the trees and bushes and flowers are all enduring the cold alongside you. Remember Wild Geese by Mary Oliver where she urged us to take our place in the family of things. Sometimes it brings me comfort to remember the seasons are far older than me— it’s easier to submit to the natural phases than fight them.

Bake the hell out of a chocolate chip banana bread. Pumpkin bread. Chocolate crinkle cookies. Scones.

Cook for yourself at home. Summer is for dinners out and picnics and wine bars. Winter is for dinner parties and slow cooking stews and eating around the table.

Like I’ve mentioned before, shop for your groceries daily if you can. Or every few days. It’s easy to see less people when you’re not out of the house as often and that, dear reader, is a recipe for disaster. Pretend you’re in Europe and stop by the grocery store like it’s a local market. Buy fresh produce. Get to know the lady behind the counter in the deli section.

Eat lots of chocolate.

Get into wearing tights. Sometimes I get so bored of pants and a sweater until I remember that fun, colored tights exist and I have free will.

Just because it’s cold out does not mean you can’t get coffee, sit outside, and people watch. This is why turtlenecks and big coats exist. I better see all of you snuggling into your warm clothes and nursing a dirty chai with gloved hands come December.

Candles. Get a lot of them. Pine scented or apple scented or pumpkin or cranberry or chai. Let them burn in the evenings or the mornings when the world is quiet.

Invest in a good, thick moisturizer. There’s no worse feeling than dry and cracking skin. Actually, there are, but don’t make things worse for yourself by having dry skin.

Check in on the people you love because winter is hard for everyone. Make sure you invite the girl you haven’t seen out in awhile or send a text when you see something that reminds you of someone.

Remember that the passage of time has only increased rapidly ever since you turned 18 and while that is usually a cause for concern, repeat it over and over to yourself when the sight of yet another dreary day makes you feel small. It will be summer again before you know it.

Take hot showers. Hot baths. Then take freezing cold ones. Shock some feeling back into yourself.

In the days when the sun is shining, take a moment outside to turn your face up to it. Let your cheeks warm, if only slightly.

Wear all your favorite clothes. Even the skirts and even the dresses. In the winter, I’m more tender toward my closet, thankful for all that works to keep me warm and cozy despite the elements. Invest in thick, wool socks. Find mittens you think are cute. Wear oversize cable knits that you can hug tightly to yourself when walking against the wind.

And finally, try and enjoy the season as much as you can. The good and the bad and the ugly. Especially the beautiful. There are winters I look back on with a fondness that did not exist in the moment and I wish that I had cherished them more than I did. Also, it will pass. Eventually it’ll be May again and we’ll repeat this over and over and over again. How lucky are we?

xoxo,

Evie